Resolutions

Here are my resolutions for 2010:

- Be able to rip a phonebook in half.
- Get nominated for one awards show, even if it’s a Juno.
- Paint the Mona Lisa, but better.
- Eat more greens - not just vegetables, just anything that’s green (relish, limes, grass etc).
- Wear more track pants in effort to appear healthier.
- Work on my ball muscles, get a testicle six-pack.
- Write more letters to my MP concerning the length of days in November/December.
- Ride a dolphin.
- Teach a dolphin to read a book a day.
- Visit the magical city of Paris, Italy.
- Marry a zillionaire supermodel.
- Overcome irrational fear of fighter bees living in my pants.
- Give out at least twice as many high-fives as I did in 2009.